Financial crisis is not a topic exclusive to single parents, we know that, but it is certainly one that can be widespread among single parents. Finances are one of the leading causes of stress. And sadly, 1 in 3 single parents currently lives in poverty in the U.S. with approximately $80 billion in government assistance being utilized by one-parent families. Whether you are a single mom that is at the poverty line right now or you are a middle-income mom that has fallen on tough times with a recent medical incident or car transmission blow-out, we want to give you some techniques that will help you if you find yourself in crisis. (Frankly, even if you don’t...these may be tips that can serve you well, before you do!)
The following principles are not earth-shattering, they are simple. But, when used in conjunction with one another, over time, they can be powerful to rectify financial gaps and to stabilize the finances of the home, overall.
1. Educate Yourself.
One of the biggest challenges many people have is that they were never taught about finances, growing up, through family or school, and they have not taken measures to train themselves. We know that God’s Word says in Hosea 4:6, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Now, while this, of course, is Scripture given by the prophet Hosea to the people of Israel referring to their lack of spiritual knowledge about the Lord, the same biblical concept can be applied here. We cannot flourish financially when we lack wisdom and knowledge. This is why many who come into unexpected wealth, often can’t keep it! You must educate and resource yourself. And it’s ideal to do so, before crisis hits, but it is not too late after crisis hits. We are not going to cover in one article the scope of everything you need to know financially to flourish. We’re going to give you some tidbits. But here are a few of the resources we like for potential ongoing education:
- Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace
- Steve Repak’s 6-Week Money Makeover
- Crown Financial
- and Single Mom University® – apply for a scholarship, today!
There are way too many online resources, classes, budgeting tools, and books today to have any excuses for not educating yourself more fully on finances. If it matters to you, you will equip and educate yourself.
2. Exercise Self-Control.
Galatians 5:22-23 list for us the fruit that the Holy Spirit produces that lives inside of us, as Believers in Christ. One such fruit is self-control. Here’s the truth. Many of us know at least some financial management techniques, but we don’t always do them. For example, when one wants to lose weight, what might experts tell us to do? Diet and exercise. Every response from a dietician, doctor, personal trainer or other such professional will involve some form of exercise and some adjusted meal plan. The truth is that most of us already know when we want to lose weight that a combination of diet and exercise is required. Most of us know that refining our money management to get out of a financial hole is going to require belt tightening and major adjustments. However, we sometimes lack the self-discipline and self-control to just do it.
For years, the founder and CEO of Unstuck Ministries, formerly known as The Life of a Single Mom conducted financial counseling in Corporate America. She often shares about how she would counsel families in financial crisis and they would still choose to take the vacation they couldn’t afford or buy the car that was out of their price range or overspend on Christmas anyway, often resulting in a financial spiral that could take years to dig out of. When we adhere to step number 1 above and get educated on money management, we then must exercise the self-control to adhere to what we’re learning. Temporary restrictions often yield substantial long-term results. There are many people living outside of their means in a house or apt they cannot afford or wearing clothes they cannot afford or driving cars they cannot afford for the sake of appearance. This is pride. And it is not looking at the long-term of financial goals with rewards.
3. Budget! Budget! Budget!
It doesn’t matter whether you find yourself married or single, young or old, or middle income or mid-to-high income, one must establish and live within it. Very few ever knew how to create and live on a budget. One of the most difficult things for most families that are transitioning to a single parent home is to re-allocate finances after an unexpected life incident. Divorce, death, or adding a new child into a home that you didn’t plan on can be overwhelming and throw you into a financial crisis. You must sit down and list on paper every bill leaving your home, every penny you spend on groceries, entertainment, gas, mortgage or rent, everything. Many people know they are in financial crisis and yet still have no budget. How can you improve your finances, when you don’t even know what the baseline is? You don’t know where you are starting? There is no way to plan if you have no idea what is coming in and leaving your home.
4. Evaluate our budget Closely for 30-60 Days.
Once you have your budget established, evaluate your finances for the next 30-60 days. This preliminary evaluation will highlight much. Keep track of everything. Two things will likely happen. Number one, you will be much more conscious of what you are spending, which is the first step toward financial resolution. Second, you will be able to begin to trim your budget based on “wastes and indulgences”. Many times, we have clients say, “Well, $7 on coffee isn’t that big of a deal, because I’m in such a financial mess anyway!” No, not true. You have to start somewhere. Small things can mean big results.
5. Trim the Fat.
This is the most difficult. Obviously, there are necessities, e.g. food, transportation, housing, etc., that we must have to survive. However, what type of food, transportation, and housing matters! The price range of our housing, food choices, and basic necessities can vary widely and must be evaluated for changes, which can be discomfort, at least for a while. For example, food is essential, but as we see the cost of goods rising, we must evaluate what we eat. Maybe our source of protein must switch from something we really enjoy to a cheaper cut of meat that has similar health benefits. Maybe we get protein from beans a couple of nights of week, because they are cheaper to eat. Maybe the twice-a-week drive-thru meal, we simply can’t afford anymore. There are hundreds of ways to save money, but we have to be honest, and we have to be willing to make temporary adjustments to get out of the hole.
The same can be said for non-essentials e.g. manicures, haircuts, the drive-thru coffee, dinner at a drive-thru, etc. First, in almost every budget, there are non-essentials. Many people, at first glance, think they have trimmed all the fat or extra they can from their budgets, but when you have an objective second set of eyes to look, it is very often they see something you don’t.
Maybe for this season of your life, you must do your own nails, go longer between haircuts, learn to cut your son’s hair, shop at a different grocery store, downsize to a different car or home, or relocate to a cheaper community. While these types of decisions can be difficult, they may be necessary to save your family from financial ruin.
6. Become Familiar with Resources in your area.
Get familiar with discounts, coupons, kids-eat-free nights, food banks, single mom support services, etc. Know what is available in your area and what you may be able to take advantage of for a season. Maybe a food bank gives out groceries to school-aged children once per week or maybe you come out cheaper if you take the kiddos out to each one night if all 3 of them eat free on Tuesdays, or maybe you get really good at couponing and reviewing the sales papers. Many moms report that coupon-researching and evaluating sales papers during a very tight financial crisis season results in immense savings each week.. During back-to-school time, know about the back-to-school giveaways or the used uniform sales, etc. There are things going on at churches and nonprofits and community centers all over the country, so make sure there aren’t things happening you don’t know about within your own community. Join online moms’ groups. They are a great place to stay informed.
7. Contact Your Creditors.
Begin tough discussions about ways to make payment arrangements and interest rate reductions and refinances with existing creditors. Begin to talk to creditors and debtors about ways to work with you, before you lose everything. We often have not, because we ask not. There was once a mom who shared with us that her brother was in a horrific motorcycle accident years ago with no insurance and owed the hospital tons that he could never repay. He explained his financial situation to the hospital, and they had a special program that wrote off a large percentage of the debt. The point is, had he not shared the information, he would’ve never known what was available. Communicate with those you owe money to.
8. Begin Some Future Planning
This will look different for everyone. We wanted to just give you examples of what we mean by future planning. Depending on what’s going on in your life, you may need to consider some or all of the following:
- Make immediate plans to get a second job for a period of time – maybe it’s a work-from-home business or Uber driver or customer sales rep or selling a product from home – but this has to be an option you, even if only for a short while. Yes, this may mean limited time with the children for a season, which is hard, but sometimes necessary.
- Maybe for others of you it means you need to expand your educational level or job skills to secure a career. Maybe some of you are in a dead-end job and you need to move into a career path, so securing some additional education is necessary to get you to the next level.
- Maybe for others of you, it’s moving home for a short period of time, in order to save money for a down payment on an apartment or home.
9. Ask the lord.
Ask the Lord what to do next. Ask the Lord how to get out of the crisis. Ask the Lord to give clarity surrounding confusion in your finances. Habakkuk 2:2 says, “Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it.” We must receive vision from the Lord on what He wants for our finances and our futures and write down His instruction. His Word is full of instruction on money management, but we also must ask if there is anything specific He wants for our families. The prayers of the righteous availeth much. (James 5:16). Do not discount the power of getting before the Lord for vision, supernatural wisdom, and the movement of mountains in your finances. Do not give up. Do not become overwhelmed. Do not be consumed with fear. The Word of the Lord says, “He shall supply all your needs.” So I know it is difficult, right now. Lean not on your own understanding, but acknowledge the Lord in all your ways.
