Anxiety and the Single Mom by Anna Meade Harris

“The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

PHILIPPIANS 4: 5-7 NIV

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my single mom life when this verse has made me feel guilty. With a quick read, the verse appears to offer a prescription: if you’re worried or fearful, stop and pray, and you will feel better. But for me, crippling anxiety never seems to dissolve quickly. I worried that I didn’t pray the right way – maybe I forgot the “thanksgiving” part?—or worse, that God was frustrated with me for being anxious in the first place. Placing this verse in the context of the whole Bible helps me understand Paul’s words and I find the comfort God intends to give me through the practice of prayer.

God knows we feel anxiety. God’s Word tells us not to fear over 300 times because He knows in our broken world, there are many reasons to be afraid. Jesus tells us, “In this world you will have trouble,” and any single mom can give you a long list of the troubles she has seen. I appreciate that Jesus is realistic with us. He does not sugarcoat or dismiss the hurdles we face, as if we have simply imagined them or failed to muster the faith to overcome them. But the good news is He knows and He understands.

God wants to alleviate our anxiety. In His great kindness and love, God does not want us to feel anxious. He knows that anxious thoughts not only rob us of peace, but they can paralyze us or lead us to make foolish choices. When worry grips me, I feel desperate for relief and unsure where to find it. Like an animal caught in a trap, I cannot free myself of my fears simply by thinking different thoughts or taking wise action. These verses tell me that God feels protective of me when I am distressed. He seeks to free me of the anxiety so that I can hear His voice and walk with Him in calm and confident trust. God rejoices over you with singing (Zeph. 3:17)! He doesn’t want you to be afraid.

God’s nearness comforts us. Think about this for a moment. The God who created us and our children, who graciously gave his only Son to die for us because we could not save ourselves, who has the power to overcome death, and who loves us enough to do all this for us- this is the God who is near. He will never leave, or die, or abandon us. He is reliable, mighty, and steadfast, and He is as close as our breath. Consider Hebrews 13:5 (AMP), which I have written on index cards and taped around my house: “He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!”
God invites us to pour out our hearts to Him. When we are anxious, God invites us to talk with Him. He uses two words to describe the conversation. The first is prayer, which is a general expression for the many things we might say to God. Praise, confession, thanksgiving, and lament are all parts of prayer, and they all help us orient ourselves to who God is and who we are. Praise and thanksgiving can be particularly helpful when we are fearful. God doesn’t need our thanks, but we need to hear ourselves remembering all the ways He has been good to our families.

The second word, supplication, involves pouring out our specific needs and concerns to Him. What a comfort to know that God is eager to hear about the details, because these are the things that keep us lying awake at night. He invites us to talk with Him about unpaid bills, rebellious children, and lonely Saturday nights. No detail is insignificant to our good God. Matthew 6: 25-34 reminds us that God feeds the birds and handcrafts the flowers; how much more does He care about providing for us and our children?
God has given us the righteousness of Christ, so we don’t have to clean up our act before we come to Him for help. Our verse from Philippians suggests that we pray in every circumstance. This means that we can pray about the painful things other people have done to us, but we can also pray about the things that we wish we had not done. We confess our regrets because there is never any need to feel shame before Him. We are free to lament, expressing our anger and sadness. God isn’t surprised by the depths of our true feelings, nor is He irritated by our inadequacy, weakness, or failure. When we are in Christ, we can “approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need “(Heb. 4:16).
God gives us His peace. On the night before He was crucified, Jesus spoke to His disciples, saying, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27). The peace of Jesus incorporates perfect trust in God’s goodness, perfect rest in God’s grace, and perfect joy in God’s beauty. Our Philippians verse promises that this particular peace is what will stand guard like a soldier over our anxious hearts and minds, allowing us to live and work and parent in the peace of God Himself.

All of that may sound too good to be true for the weary, anxious single mom who has many responsibilities and concerns. But even just meditating on these verses, on the goodness of a God who invites us to bring Him our every concern and care, begins to bring us a measure of His peace. His peace may not come quickly; it may feel hard to hold on to. We will have to continue in prayer because life brings many troubles, and we quickly lose sight of God’s goodness when worry strikes. But these verses promise that our prayers open us up to receive the peace God so deeply wants to give us.

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Meet The Author

Anna Meade Harris

Anna Meade Harris is a single mom of three young adult sons. She is the Senior Director of Content at Rooted, co-host of the Rooted Parent podcast, a member of Church of the Cross in Birmingham, AL, and author of the upcoming God’s Grace for Every Family: Biblical Encouragement for Single Parent Families and the Churches That Seek to Love Them Well (Zondervan, 2024). In her free time, Anna enjoys gardening, great books, running, hiking, hammocks, and ice cream. She wants to live by a mountain stream in Idaho someday. For more info, visit rootedministry.com/authors/anna-meade-harris/

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