Avoiding the Comparison Trap by Chuck Bentley

My hope is to help you with your finances today by identifying a common trap — comparison. 

It’s easy to compare yourself to others in this self-centered world. There is great pressure to meet the perceived expectations of culture. Social media feeds it. Unknowingly, other moms, friends, and family can, too. Comparing yourself to others creates pride and/or discouragement. Both are hazardous to your spiritual and financial health.

Here are some tips that can help you avoid the comparison trap that leads to discontentment and overspending. 

Seek Approval From the Lord, Not the World.

Though you crave affirmation, it should not motivate your financial decisions. The Apostle Paul said, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10 ESV)

If Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior, then He has made you a steward of all He provides. Guard your heart and mind, protecting what goes in your eyes and ears, so that you are not negatively influenced by society. “Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” (Romans 12:2a ESV)

The Trap

Companies know how to market to the emotions of shoppers. Please know that you don’t need to impress anyone, and using money to try and feel better doesn’t work long-term. It actually does the opposite. The answer lies in spending less so that you can save more. This creates margin, which will enable you to step back from a financial cliff. A lifestyle of consistently spending less develops a frugal mentality that accelerates your financial wellbeing. Remember this, improving the size of your savings feels better than anything that depletes it! It will actually help reduce your stress. 

Frugality is freeing. It grants stability and allows you to focus on true priorities, not those that the world dictates. Short-term sacrifices enable you to work towards long-term goals. Besides, you’ll experience gratitude for all God provides and contentment with what you already have.

Ask yourself these questions to help keep on track: 

  • Why buy things I don’t truly need? Learn to differentiate between needs and wants. Don’t compare your circumstances to others. Focus on what you need, not what you want.

  • Why panic and spend more when rushed? Plan ahead, and shop wisely for upcoming needs. Don’t try to keep up with those who seem to be able to spend carefree. 

  • Who says I have to buy new? Find deals at thrift stores, garage sales, Craigslist, and Facebook Marketplace. Just because your friends may order everything new from Amazon doesn’t mean you have to. 

  • Who says I have to spend money on gifts? Avoid imagining what others may be spending for the gifts they give their children or friends. Your time, new experiences, hand-made items, baked goods, or written notes show you really care.

 

Mothers often spend too much money on their children due to several reasons. Babies and toddlers do not need the plethora of gadgets, nursery décor, and stuff that occupies space and depreciates greatly after use. Accept (and request) hand-me-downs. Avoid taking children to the store where you’ll be tempted to buy what’s not needed. Learn to say “no” to teens, and set the example for financial self-control. 

Take care of yourself, but recognize that there are alternative ways of doing that besides spending money. Trade skills with friends, like baking, haircuts, manicures, babysitting, pet sitting, bookkeeping, tutoring, etc.

Build your emergency savings, pay off debt, and give. Christian Credit Counselors can help with credit card debt. Don’t lose hope. With a patient heart and disciplined hands, you will soon experience the joy of living God’s way.   

Children grow quickly. They want your love, affirmation, and acceptance more than anything money can buy. One day, what they remember most about you will be how well you loved them, not what you spent on them. 

Keep an Eternal Focus.

If you struggle with the comparison trap, remember that life is short, and we are all just passing through. Keep an eternal focus, casting all your anxieties on Him. He cares for you and those children — more than you even realize. (1 Peter 5:7) Nothing can compare to that. 


Want to reform your finances and work towards financial freedom? Apply for Single Mom University today, for access to over 200 classes including 35 finance courses! Apply for a scholarship at singlemomuniversity.com/apply-for-scholarship. Use coupon code: UNSTUCKART

Share This Article:

Recent Posts

Cover image for Unstuck article entitled "Learning How to Pray".

Learning How to Pray

Unstuck Ministries has now served over one million single mothers over the last two decades, and we have covered so much through the years in articles, podcasts, videos, eBooks, etc., including grief & trauma, parenting, forgiveness, bitterness, spiritual growth, money management, and so much more. We’ve covered ALL….THE….THINGS! But the topic we’re covering today is the catalyst to it all. Prayer. It is prayer that shifts things. It is prayer that promotes our intimacy with the Lord. It is through prayer that the Lord often teaches us. Sadly, too many Believers in Christ have a weak prayer life. How can you be in relationship with the Lord and not ever talk to Him? This must change. Many Believers often struggle in prayer, because they were

Read More »
Cover photo for article "What To Do When Your Child Is Hurting" by Unstuck Ministries' Featured Expert, Jennifer Maggio.

What To Do When Your Child Is Hurting by Jennifer Maggio

I was 14 years old when a dear friend’s father left her mother.  She was devastated.  The fighting had gone on for months. It had been tense at home, but she never imagined her parents would actually split.  We stayed up and cried together many nights in those first weeks and months.  We mourned the loss of the family that would never live in the same home again. We mourned what once was and what could now never be. I listened as she shared her pain and fears of what would eventually happen and how life would never be the same. Her pain became my pain.  I just wanted to help her heal, and mostly, I just felt helpless.   My mother died when I was

Read More »

Take the Lead by Denise Adcock

I am an avid hiker and lover of the outdoors. When I’m not hiking, I spend my time biking, kayaking, or walking.  Being in God’s beautiful creation brings me joy!  As a single mom, I shared my love of nature with both of my children. All three of us had bikes, so several times a week we’d ride from our house to a nearby park and hit the trails.  When I look back on this today, those trail rides were some of the best experiences we had together as a single-parent family. It helped us let go of our burdens and refocus on what mattered most, our precious family.  Being a mom requires courage and leadership. John Maxwell says, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the

Read More »

Meet The Author

Picture of Chuck Bentley

Chuck Bentley

Chuck Bentley is CEO of Crown Financial Ministries, the largest Christian financial ministry in the world, founded by the late Larry Burkett. He is the host of a daily radio broadcast, My MoneyLife, featured on more than 1,000 Christian Music and Talk stations in the U.S., and author of his most recent book, Money Problems, Marriage Solutions. Be sure to follow Crown on Facebook at Crown Financial Ministries and check out the website at www.crown.org.

Unstuck Ministries is a national faith-based nonprofit that exists to see bound women become free – free to parent well, free to manage their money effectively, and free in their spiritual and mental health. With over 1,000,000 women served, we offer a variety of programs and services that bring hope in Christ as the foundation to women everywhere, focusing in 3 key areas: Parenting, Finances, and Mental & Spiritual Wellness. While Unstuck Ministries exists to see women in all walks of life become free, the ministry is also the nation’s largest provider of Christian single mom curriculum. This includes launching thousands of single moms’ support groups in churches, offering life skills through Single Mom University®, and providing ministry leadership training & support. But we don’t stop there! We also host awe-inspiring women’s events and provide a variety of other support services to ensure all women remain unstuck, including videos, podcasts, articles, in-person events, webinars, books, and so much more.

Blessed by Our Free Content?

Consider donating to help us keep providing content just like this!

Support & Resources

We offer a variety of initiatives to support women, including maternal mental health, single mom services, trauma intervention, and more. Support services impact thousands of women annually and vary from year to year.

Find a single mom support group

Learn More

Start a single mom support group

Learn More

National Resource Guide

Learn More

In addition, Unstuck Ministries offers:

Please note, counseling is currently only available for Louisiana women. To learn more about either of these services, please reach out to us directly at info@unstuckministries.com or call our office.

Education & Curriculum

Each week, we release fresh, honest, educational content on women-centric topics in the areas of Parenting, Finances, and Mental & Spiritual Wellness. Whether it be our print curriculum or vast array of digital services, we have something for you! Single Mom University® is one of our most popular educational offerings, as the nation’s largest life skills classroom for single mothers. However, we also offer weekly articles, newsletters, podcasts, videos, and live feeds, receiving hundreds of thousands of downloads by women weekly. Be sure to follow us on all media to stay informed and check out our newsletter HERE.

Single Mom University

Learn More

Books
& Ebooks

Learn More

Blog
& Articles

Learn More

Podcasts

Learn More

Newsletter

Learn More

National & Local Events

We host a number of local and national events, including our life-changing boot camps, powerful conferences, education workshops, & outreaches.  Visit our events page HERE for more info on upcoming events near you.  We offer both virtual and in-person options.  And the great news? They are always free!

  • Boot Camps
  • Conferences
  • Workshops
  • Webinars
  • Holiday Outreaches