Growing your single moms' ministry is a frequent topic asked at our ministry headquarters. Many churches see the value of hosting single parent support groups, ministries, Bible studies, and events, as part of their discipleship and outreach programs on an ongoing basis. Having a single mom's ministry in your church is vital to enhance ongoing efforts in the body of Christ to evangelize single parent-led families Sadly, single parents are one of the fastest-growing sector of our population, and must be strategic with ministry efforts in order to be effective in outreaching a largely unchurched people group.
Many start a single moms' support group, ministry, outreach program, or Sunday school class, and then…nothing. Crickets. No one comes. They see very little growth. They are not getting much response from the ads in the church bulletin or the flyers distributed in town. Or maybe the ministry has been going on for years and it is simply stagnant, hosting the same 4-6 ladies it has for years. What next? The Life of a Single Mom Ministries has been conducting single moms' support groups throughout the nation for more than a decade, having served literally thousands of churches, prison, and pregnancy resource centers. In fact, our founder started a single moms support group in her local church with only 3 single moms in 2007 that later grew to hundreds of single mothers meeting weekly, as one of the largest single mom's ministries in a church in the U.S.! Here are the most important techniques we've used to grow single moms' ministries!
Here are a few tips that can help you kick-start your program:
1. Relationship development comes first. Oftentimes, we see leaders of single moms’ support groups become so overzealous for teaching single parents about parenting or finances or any number of other single parent issues that they forget that relationships lead to ministry. In other words, it is very hard to invest into someone’s life and offer wisdom, encouragement, and correction, if you have never learned who they are. Take the time in your ministry to learn who your attendees are. Spend the time getting to know their story. It is more important to develop the relationship than it is to cover the 15 points of your Bible study curriculum for the week. Now, that may seem counterproductive to what you are trying to do, which is help them grow in their walk with the Lord, but we've found, time and again, that single mothers are much more open to the 15 points of the Bible study, once they know that you love them.
2. Be open to change. This is the single biggest reason that most of the single mothers' ministries throughout the U.S. aren't growing. We must be open to change and be creative, as we lean in to what the Holy Spirit may be doing in a new season. If something isn't working, change it. Pray about it, and ask God for wisdom and creative new ideas to find and minister to single mom-led families. Maybe you’ve always had your single moms support group on a Sunday morning or a Wednesday night, because that's when all the other Bible studies are meeting. Maybe that was convenient for you, because the church was already hosting childcare during those times. Or maybe you held your group on a Monday or Tuesday night, because "it's always been that way." Consider changing your meeting days to weekends (preferentially Friday nights or any time Saturday). Consider changing your length of meetings to be no more than an 1.5. Consider changing the structure of the meetings. (30 minutes fellowship & food, 30 minutes teaching, 30 minutes discussion time). Consider new curriculum.
3. Teach relevant materials. What are you teaching? Is it tailored to single mothers' journey or simply the latest book by a popular Christian author? Single mothers need help in parenting, finances, and overall emotional & spiritual growth. These 3 categories are the cornerstone to their journey. Teach what will work and resonate with them.
Additionally, two out of three single mothers are not attending a local church. This means, we need to teach things to resonate with them, and also consider their understanding of the Bible, if they are unchurched. (Please note: this point in now way indicates that all single mothers are unchurched or aren't highly educated in Biblical knowledge, but simply reflects the needs of many of the single mothers you'll be working with!) Considering that some single mothers may be still healing from trauma, battling bitterness, or feel so far removed from the Proverbs 31 woman that she cannot even comprehend being that girl! Take the time to teach materials that will resonate with her life season. Our Ministry offers several curriculum options. Feel free to check out our website to see what would fit your needs.
4. Consider adding something new. Growing ministries are those who can keep things fresh and new. You don’t have to do things “the way you’ve always done them.” Host a single moms' exercise night or self-defense class. Host a cooking class or nutrition class. Consider a single mom's game night or karaoke night. Maybe a fun night of Taboo is just what the ministry needs to forge relationships. Laughing together creates strong bonds. What about a Mother's Day Program for single moms'? A free Ask-A-Lawyer day with community lawyers? A single moms' free oil change day? There are hundreds of ways to serve single mothers. Maybe the simplest ideas of implementing ice breakers into your single mom's groups or switching up the order of the night are ways that will liven up the ministry. When you are open to creative ideas, the possibilities are endless.
5. Consider the participants who are not yet here. Many times, we see single parent support group leaders surveying their current participants about changes that could be made within the ministry. (E.g. Do you want to change the nights of our meetings? Do you want to open up our study to single moms in the community, instead of those just in our church? Do you want to meet more/less frequently?) And yes, it's important t know what those attendees think. But two out of three single mothers aren't attending a local single moms' ministry, so we must always consider the ones who are not yet here. Many times, a single moms’ group stays at only 4 or 5 attendees, because those attendees are only focusing on what works best for them. The questions must shift from “me” to “we”. When we begin to ask questions, such as “How would those girls who are not yet attending a church feel if we opened up the group to them?” or “How much more convenient might a twice per month Bible study be for busy single moms, rather than having one every week?” Once leaders shift focus to those who have not yet started in their programs, there is great potential for new growth.
6. Have fun and be flexible. Play games. Have fun contests. Be creative. If your support group is always 6-7 women sitting around sharing woe-is-me stories, your group won’t grow. If your support group is always 22 minutes of teaching 8 minutes of prayer, and 3.4 minutes of socializing, it becomes boring and predictable. Have fun. Be flexible. Enjoy the fellowship. If you don’t get to all 10 points you had prepared for this week’s lesson, it’s okay. Flexibility can mean great fun, and it keeps your participants excited and coming back (and bringing a friend)!
7. Host a special single mom's event. Plan an exciting night of worship, single mothers Christmas party, "relaunch" party, roller skating night, or any special event. People get excited about events. They love one-time gatherings that seem special, unique, or once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Hosting a single moms' event may be just the thing you need to attract new single mothers that are not yet connected to a ministry.
8. Host the Holy Ghost. Many single moms' ministries are not growing, because they are transactional and now transformational. The group meets, covers 10 points in a book, and then leaves. Leaders have not been in the Secret Place with the Lord. They have gleaned from the table of the Lord, fasting, praying, and seeking His face. Many groups lack the power of the Holy Spirit, because leaders have not gotten into the heart posture with the Lord. There is no key point above more powerful than this!
