Imperfectly Qualified by Michelle Donnelly

It’s a glorious moment, yet so brief. Within just a few days of their homecoming, I am once again sweeping the lifeless petals of another short-lived bouquet off the floor. It’s a beautiful, though all too short, experience.

Several weeks ago, I wandered into a new home decor store I’d never noticed before. As I marveled at their collection of marble cheese boards and brass serving bowls, I was drawn to their assortment of faux flowers at the back of the store.

Nestled in the corner of this quaint shop were the most stunning faux tulips I had ever seen. I touched them in disbelief, my fingers smoothing over their velvety petals. And for the cost of just two living bouquets, I could purchase a handful of stems that would last season after season.

And you know this girl loves a deal.

Since my divorce, I’ve gotten into the habit of buying flowers for myself– and most often, tulips. For their gorgeous spectra of colors and their unfussy yet feminine form, tulips are my absolute favorite. But tulips also seemingly have a personality all their own. Shyly, their tightly clasped buds slowly open in response to the sunlight. Unexpectedly, the petals then suddenly burst open in full celebration as the once tightly packed stems now separate and bow, as though in adoration.I went to work assembling the most realistic looking bundle I could, balancing brightly colored stems with more muted ones. It was coming together beautifully, but something just looked too perfect about the whole thing. As I looked through the remaining selection, I discovered a couple of buds with drooping petals that had been set aside; most shoppers had likely dismissed them as defective. But I adored them; they mimicked the unique imperfections of real tulip flowers in a way that the tidier stems could not.

Before checkout, I was asked by two different associates if I was certain I wanted the damaged stems. Cheerfully I assured them that I did, and I set off with my pretty bundle of buds.

As a single mom, sometimes I feel just like those cast aside stems with the unkempt petals. I don’t feel as though I fit as neatly into the bouquet of community like I once did. Where I once easily navigated a network of social groups and settings, I now feel the unease of quickly turned eyes and awkward conversations. I sense the tension every time I politely decide not to correct someone who casually suggested I “talk to my husband about it first,” or sheepishly decline a request to join in on an activity because I don’t have childcare.

A single mom’s untidy life is impossible to hide – which is okay, because hiding is not something God wants us to do anyway. However, if ever you feel that having such an openly flawed life disqualifies you or makes you less worthwhile to God, know that God has a completely different approach to the matter. In 1 Corinthians 1:26-27 (NLT), Paul writes:

“Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.”

1 Corinthians 1:26-27

God works through imperfect people because, spoiler alert, that’s all there are! God calls those who seem least likely, the least qualified, because that’s where He can show Himself best. When the strong and powerful succeed, people might chalk it up to their superior upbringing or brilliant personal capabilities. But when the crushed and undesirable persevere, there’s only one explanation: GOD.

God’s healing power is most evident in our brokenness, His comfort most understood in our pain. There’s frustration in our limitations, but they are there to invite us into an incredibly powerful experience as we watch the working of our perfect God, rather than settling for what we can come up with on our own. It’s why Paul goes on to say, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God sees our imperfect parts, and accepts us as we are. There’s no shame in Him, so we don’t need to hide behind the parts of ourselves and our stories that we’re not so proud of. But in His complete goodness, God promises never to leave us in the condition in which He found us; He desires to take what is weak and make it strong. The biggest question is always, “Will you let Him?”

Allowing God to tend to us and mend us takes courage. But with God, vulnerability is always worth the risk. He will not allow us to be opened up, without also filling us up. And as we are lifted up, He gives us the vantage point we need to help others in the same situation.

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

2 Corinthians 1:4

Brokenness has purpose, and God wastes nothing.

How ever you became a single mom, I know there’s a tale of brokenness there. But just like not-quite-perfect tulips stems, God selects those who have been set aside and brought low, so He can raise them to new heights with His perfect power and love.

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Meet The Author

Michelle Donnelly

Michelle Donnelly, MS, is the President and CEO of PlusONE Parents, a ministry devoted to helping single parents overcome overwhelm to rebuild God-empowered lives and raise up a new generation. A mother of three, Michelle is also the host of The Christian Single Moms Podcast and author of Seen: Hope & Healing for Single Moms. Learn more about PlusONE Parents at www.plusoneparents.org.

Unstuck Ministries is a national faith-based nonprofit that exists to see bound women become free – free to parent well, free to manage their money effectively, and free in their spiritual and mental health. With over 1,000,000 women served, we offer a variety of programs and services that bring hope in Christ as the foundation to women everywhere, focusing in 3 key areas: Parenting, Finances, and Mental & Spiritual Wellness. While Unstuck Ministries exists to see women in all walks of life become free, the ministry is also the nation’s largest provider of Christian single mom curriculum. This includes launching thousands of single moms’ support groups in churches, offering life skills through Single Mom University®, and providing ministry leadership training & support. But we don’t stop there! We also host awe-inspiring women’s events and provide a variety of other support services to ensure all women remain unstuck, including videos, podcasts, articles, in-person events, webinars, books, and so much more.