You’ve been working all day and after dinner, you’re spent. So when your child asks to play a video game or watch another show, it feels futile to resist. There’s no question that single parents struggle with having the energy to do it all - married parents do too, but when you’re the only one “doing it all,” it can be harder to regain your energy. Whether you are single or married though, the pull of technology on our children is powerful and should not be underestimated.

We know it’s important that our kids don’t get nonstop video games and screen time. So how can we reduce screen time for our children while still protecting the “me time” we desperately need? One of the best things a mom can do is set an early bedtime for the children. When you put your child to bed early, he learns there is a bedtime and will adjust to that routine. If your child isn’t ready to fall asleep that early, you can say, “You don’t have to go to sleep right away, but you have to go to your room and be quiet. You can read a book for a few minutes until you go to sleep.”  This means that you have some time at the end of the day to be alone, to breathe deeply, and to do all the things that need to be done around the home without being interrupted by your child.

You may think it sounds crazy to put your child to bed early because he or she will not cooperate. Even if your kids kick, scream, fuss, and tell you they don’t need more sleep, the truth is they do. As you set a firm boundary on bedtime, your child will adjust to the new time. Although they may not admit it to you, they will learn to like the quiet at the end of the day to read, draw, or think in their bedroom before falling asleep. 

Dr. Gary Chapman, my co-author of the book Screen Kids, would put his children to bed at 8:00 pm in elementary and middle school. They could read in their rooms before going to sleep, but they knew at 8:00 pm, it was time to settle down. Dr. Chapman is a grandpa now, so you may think 8:00 pm is too early for the modern child. But my three kids had an 8:30 pm bedtime in elementary school, and now continue to wind down between 8:30 - 9:00 pm even as high schoolers. Children do what they are trained to do. When you train your children to go to bed early, it gives you the time you desperately need to take care of yourself — plus sleep is healthy for your children.


In addition to establishing an early bedtime, you must evaluate how much time each day is devoted to screen time. If your child is watching more than two hours of videos or playing video games every day, you can work on a plan to reduce his or her screen time. You might begin with these simple action steps:

> Decide what programs your child can watch in advance. Be present when the program is over to turn off the screen before the next video plays automatically.
> Don’t use the TV as background noise.
> Make a screen time chart for the week. Mark how much screen time your child has each day and have him check it off once he uses it.  Decide if the time carries over if he doesn’t use it.
> You may want to have certain days of the week, like weekends, that are used for video games or television days while the rest of the week is media-free.
> Don’t allow eating while in front of the TV or computer. Eventually your child will get hungry and will shift gears.

Talk with your child about why you are making these screen time adjustments. It will give him or her more time to pursue other interests like music, animals, reading, drawing, sports, and other creative outlets. New boundaries will not be popular, but eventually your child will thank you for your love and guidelines.