Sex and the Single Mom by Jennifer Maggio

Recently, I came across a website that disappointed and infuriated me. In fact, that’s probably a serious understatement. The Life of a Single Mom Ministries team and I are always researching single parenting topics to understand more fully how to meet the needs of our clientele. It was during this research that we happened upon an article regarding sex and Christian singles. I would not dare give you the name of the actual site, but here is what the meat of the article said (loosely translated)…

My name is Sally. I am single. I have been for some time. I am also a Christian. I have been for some time. And I am sexually active. I have been for some time. God created sex. Sex is good. And since no normal human being would be able to abstain for any length of time anyway (and God really does not expect us to), I know God will forgive me. I’m going for it, and you should do the same.

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The lengthy article sparked quite the conversation. There were hundreds of comments amen-ing the author (because obviously she was giving permission to her readers to indulge their flesh). Others voiced outrage. (I lean on the side of outrage, in case there was any doubt!)

About 60% of the U.S. currently identifies as Christian, so why is it that so few actually talk about the subject of sex in the church? Christians are to follow God’s written word as their life’s instruction book – the Bible. And it is more than clear on its principles regarding sex.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does…” There are dozens and dozens of Scriptures that outline God’s word for how sex is supposed to happen. Sex is good. It is right. But only within God’s plan for our lives.

The Bible is clear that we are to crucify our flesh, as we seek to serve the Lord and honor His principles. (See Galatians 5:24). So why would Christians embrace a dialogue that teaches indulgence of the flesh and complete lack of self-control? Here’s why. Because we, as Christians, often want the benefits and blessings of the Lord without the sacrifice and obedience required. We want to have our sin and our salvation. This is err teaching and it leaves many single mothers I minister to broken-hearted, devastated, and left to pick up the pieces of poor decisions that did not honor their Lord.

Have you ever wondered why God puts such a difficult “don’t” on our list of instructions as Believers? Have you ever thought, like the woman above, that this was a ridiculous command for which no one could ever live up to? “That isn’t right how God won’t let us have any fun,” some may secretly ponder. Well, let me tell you what “isn’t right”…

Sexually transmitted diseases affect millions of people every year, including many incurable diseases.
Millions of babies have been killed through abortion, because moms find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy.
50% of babies are born outside marriage today, which often leads to many difficult years of parenting alone.
Single parents under the age of 25 often have lower income rates, higher high school drop out rates, suicide, depression, and abuse – just as the tip of the iceberg.

Those are the facts. (Citations available in The Church and the Single Mom by Jennifer Maggio). That does not even broach the subject of the gravity in giving oneself over sexually to another with whom you are not married and the emotions and spiritual connotations of that choice.

Let me challenge you with this idea. As a parent, when we tell our seven-year-old not to play in the street, is it because we don’t want him to have any fun playing kickball with his friends? Are we just plain ol’ mean parents? No, of course not. It is because we understand the potential danger that our precious seven-year-old could experience and we want to protect him — even if he doesn’t understand why. The exact same is true for Christians. Our Heavenly Father does not want to hinder joy in our lives, but He does want to protect us from potential harm.

And before you decide that I don’t know what I’m talking about or that I couldn’t possibly understand how hard it is to abstain from sex or be a single mom for many years, etc., please know this. I have been the single mom who did it all contrary to God’s Word and the one who choice differently. And I have held the hand of literally thousands of single mothers over the last decade who have endured years of complex pain due to sexual immorality. I founded a ministry that has served over 1 million single moms, and I’ve seen moms struggle emotionally and financially, because they did not wait on God to move into a new season in His timing and instruction. I’ve seen the trickle affect that sexual immorality has had on moms (and children).

Before you embark on one more meaningless sexual relationship that could very well leave you more emotionally broken, financially broken, and spiritually broken, think about its effects and know that there is great freedom in simply waiting for the Lord. God wants more for you. You are a Daughter of the Most High.

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Meet The Author

Jennifer Maggio

Jennifer Maggio is an author, national speaker, business consultant, single parenting subject matter expert, and CEO of the national nonprofit, Unstuck Ministries. Maggio's personal story through homelessness, poverty, single parenting, and severe abuse has been shared in hundreds of media venues, including the New York Times, 700 Club, Power Women, Daystar, and countless others. After becoming an 11-time Circle of Excellence Winner in Corporate America, she left her corporate successes behind to serve over one million women with one mission - to see bound women become free in Christ. To learn more, visit jennifermaggio.com.

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