Growing up in a very conservative Christian realm, it was often, sometimes in an unhealthy extreme, emphasized that fathers were to be the head of the home. Nevertheless, twenty years ago, I found myself, the mother of two young sons under the age of three, and the leader of our household.
Maybe you are in the same spot through divorce or the death of a spouse. The truth is, no matter how you ended up on the single mothering journey and what it looks like as you are walking it out, when your children are in your home, you are called by God to be the leader of your family. I'm here to remind you today that:
Dear single mom, you can be a strong, successful leader.
God does not leave us alone or without examples. One of my favorite leaders in the Bible is Joshua. We can glean much from the book of Joshua on how to lead well through the challenges of life.
1. Be strong and courageous. God has prepared you!
As Joshua is taking over leadership of Israel, he has just lost Moses, his mentor, his partner. What emotional state do you think Joshua was in as this huge responsibility was placed on his shoulders? Are you able to relate?
For some background history, read Exodus 24:13. When God called Moses up to the mountain to meet with Him and receive the Ten Commandments, Moses took his assistant Joshua along. Joshua is allowed to accompany Moses higher on the mountain than Aaron or the elders.
God was preparing Joshua. You may not see it now, but at some point, you will look back and see how God was graciously preparing you for this new role. The Israelites are looking to Joshua to see if he will take up the torch. Your children are looking to you as well. Is it easy? Absolutely not, even Joshua needed encouragement and God knew that.
God knows about your unique circumstances, too. In Joshua 1, God encourages Joshua, not once, but three times:
"Be strong and courageous,
Be strong and very courageous,
Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go."
You may feel alone. You may be doing the job of two people, but if you are a follower of Jesus, you are never truly alone. In Matthew 28:20, Jesus’s parting words are, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
2. Where do you receive your strength?
God, in the middle of His encouragement speech, inserts a command. Joshua 1:7-8 (NIV) reads,
"Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. "
Many Bible commentators think Joshua may have been fearful of this new responsibility, so it is interesting that God inserts these verses in the middle of his “pep talk”. However, He is clearly telling Joshua to be immersed in God’s Word in order to gain strength and courage.The same goes for us. Without God’s Word daily nourishing our souls, we will grow weak. The number of times I have received direction, guidance, and strength that directly applied to difficult circumstances is significant only because I remain daily in the Word.
3. Follow God in obedience.
God doesn’t just tell Joshua to know God’s Word, He tells him to “be careful to do everything written in it”. We see Joshua come into his own as a leader as he obeys what God commands, even in the face of difficult circumstances.
Joshua is commanded to lead the people across the Jordan River. Let’s put things into perspective. This is no small task. The Jordan River is at flood stage. The number of people is estimated between two and three million.
Do you stand at the banks of a Jordan River situation? Is the water raging in your life right now?
The Israelites were commanded to follow the ark of the covenant into the river. The ark of the covenant signifies God Himself going before them into the dangerous waters. Read Joshua 3:11. As Joshua steps out in faith, God parts the water, going ahead of the people leading them into the Promised Land.
God goes ahead of you too, my friend: into the courtroom or mediation session: into those difficult co-parenting relationships: into school or sports events where you may have to sit alone: and even church when you feel singled out as a single parent (no pun intended).
4. Stay the course.
Joshua leads the people across the Jordan River, but is now staring at the thick, tall walls of Jericho, the fortified city he is to capture.
Do you ever feel that way, one challenge after the other so that some days you can hardly catch your breath?
As Joshua is “sizing up the city of Jericho”, a man appears telling Joshua he is the “commander of the army of the Lord”. Joshua’s response is crucial at this point. Joshua falls on his face and says “give me your commands.” Enduring Word Commentary reads,
Joshua’s complete submission was a demonstration that at this time, Israel truly accepted God’s rule. This is a missing element in a life of victory for many believers; they have not been, and are not continually being, conquered by God. They fail to accept His authoritative rule over every aspect of life.
Are you willing to turn your struggles over even if God does not work in your timing or in your way?
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways."
Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
Most of us know the story of Jericho’s defeat in Joshua 6. The army as well as the priests with the ark march around the city for six days with only the sound of the trumpets and on the seventh day, they walk around seven times before giving a shout and taking the city.
The plan of conquering the city seemed absurd, but Joshua just didn’t submit in word, he submitted in obedient action.
Joshua stayed the course. I encourage you to read the whole book of Joshua observing Joshua’s responses to his own mistakes, his responses to mistakes others made that affected the whole community, and his integrity in keeping his word.
5. The journey to victory may seem long.
In the last part of chapter 10, verses 28-40 in Joshua, we see key cities taken through lightning like raids. However, most battles we fight in this life are not so quick and easy, much like parenting. Although miracles happen, most of life is spent here in the thick of things.
In Joshua 11, as Joshua continues to battle the Northern Kingdoms, we see that “Joshua waged war against all these kings for a long time.” It is estimated the war lasted five to seven years. God was with Israel, but it was not a quick work.
Obviously, our “battles” look different. For my sons, there was also a continual spiritual battle for their souls. They grew up in two different homes with two contrasting sets of values. This was a long battle. I did not always think that God saw, but He did.
No one wants long delays. We love to see things happen. If there must be six days of weary traveling around the walls, the seventh day will come when the walls will fall. God gives us victories through ways that seem utterly foolish to us. (See 1 Corinthians 1:18-29.)
So dear single mom, my prayer is you feel seen by God on your journey. You receive His strength to be a successful leader of your family. You feel His presence with you and know He goes before you. Strength for your journey.
