The Complaining Must Stop by Jennifer Maggio

One of my dearest friends and I have known each other for more than thirty years. (I almost hesitate in saying that, as I feel far too young to have had a friend that long!) Years ago, we both lived in the same government-issued apartment complex and often shared meals to save money, as young single moms. We had very little to call our own. As young mothers, we furnished our small apartments, albeit sparingly, with previously-owned, heavily-used, furniture, bedding, dishes, and the like. Often, we were the thankful recipients of others’ throwaways. We stretched every dollar farther than imaginable. We worked long hours and often had more debt than dollars. We clipped coupons, worked multiple jobs, held garage sales, etc. – whatever was necessary to ensure we provided for our young children. There is something about my friend that struck me years ago, and it is still true today. She is the most grateful woman I have ever met. I mean, she is a truly, truly grateful person. Whatever the season this girl finds herself in, she just oozes thanksgiving. Sadly, I cannot say that I have always exhibited the same gratitude in every season.

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I am now more than two decades into single mom’s ministry and more than one million single mothers served through Unstuck Ministries, formerly The Life of a Single Mom, so I feel confident in my knowledge of single mommas. I know them. I was them. I love them deeply and know it’s God’s calling upon my life to serve and minister to their needs. Sadly, however, in recent years, I have become increasingly aware of the lack of gratitude that many suffer from. (This is not just single moms, to be clear, but I want to address this for mommas who call our ministry part of their spiritual family.)

There is a seemingly growing trend among Americans who have a sense of expectation that something is owed to them simply because of their very existence. There seems to be a growing trend of “it’s never enough.” What we have is never enough. We always want more. If we are hungry and the food bank is passing out bread, we hoard two loaves instead of one. If the church is giving away free coffee after Sunday service, we are irritated that it is not hot enough or a particular brand. If we are single, we want to be married. If by chance we are married, we want a better spouse. We want to be thinner, prettier, richer. We want a good job, then a better one. Once we get the job that job is no longer the best job, so we search for the next job. Sad thing is we are raising children who likewise lack contentment and gratitude. They are not grateful for the new toy you bought. They want the best toy. They are insensitive to financial boundaries, because culture permeates the greed of more, more, more, and the pursuit of that façade will never make us happy, fulfilled, or thankful or grateful.

Believers in Christ Jesus, women of God, we are called to a higher standard, and the lack of gratitude must stop.

As a child, can you remember possessing a sense of awe and wonder about the world? Do you remember looking to the sky in awe of how big, blue and impressive it seemed to be? Do you remember saying childhood prayers where you thanked God for the flowers, the trees, and the very air you breathed? We were thankful for moms, dads, sisters, brothers, a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies. At what age does that shift? When do we stop being thankful for the little things and focus on the big ones? When do we determine that only the blessings that we deem big enough are worth thanking God for? In fact, what gives us the right to even categorize any of God’s blessings on our lives as small?

If we are not grateful for this thing, we will never be grateful for that thing whatever that thing is. It is a true fact. That new hair color, promotion, ministry opportunity, job, car, house, or friends will never be enough. We will always be looking for the next best thing.

Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Here are some tips I am using to ensure I have an attitude of gratitude every day and in every way. Maybe they will bless and challenge you, too:

Choose to be grateful for what you have.

This is something you have to be intentional about daily. We may not have everything we are praying for right at this moment, but God is our provider, who gives us what we need. Regardless of what you may be in need of there is always someone somewhere else whose need is far greater than yours. God is a good God who has given us good things. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God’s plans for us are for a hopeful future. What do you have that you can be thankful for today? Do you have access to worship in a local church? Do you have access to transportation, food, clothing? Do you own a Bible? Do you have your health? Do you have children? A best friend? A loving pastor? A job? Education? Breath? These are all ways to be thankful.

Keep a journal.

It seems simple, but there have been many times in my personal life that I cried out to God, begging Him for something in particular, a breakthrough, a desperate need. I was overwhelmed and distraught about a situation that seemed enormous at the time. It is impossible to tell you how many times God has answered a prayer that I have completely forgotten that I even prayed! Being able to refer back over years of journals allows me to see the evidence of God’s hand at work in my life. It is humbling and refreshing to build my faith and gratitude.

Keep your head from swiveling.

Yes, stop looking to left and right at everything and everyone else that has something going on. Stop worrying about how much money they make, how eloquently they speak, how beautiful they sing, or how pretty they are. God made you, your life, and your unique gifts for His glory. The plans He has for you are completely separate and distinct from that of others. The constant comparison with what she has that we do not is the very reason we cannot be thankful for God’s blessings in our lives.

“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”

GALATIANS 6:4-5

Remember that we deserve death.

God does not owe us anything, but eternal separation according to Romans 6:23. But in God’s amazing grace, He chose to send us a Savior in His son, Jesus. If God decides never to do anything else for you in your lifetime (which is unlikely), understand this. He has already paid the ultimate price so we would not get what we deserve!

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Meet The Author

Jennifer Maggio

Jennifer Maggio is an author, national speaker, business consultant, single parenting subject matter expert, and CEO of the national nonprofit, Unstuck Ministries. Maggio's personal story through homelessness, poverty, single parenting, and severe abuse has been shared in hundreds of media venues, including the New York Times, 700 Club, Power Women, Daystar, and countless others. After becoming an 11-time Circle of Excellence Winner in Corporate America, she left her corporate successes behind to serve over one million women with one mission - to see bound women become free in Christ. To learn more, visit jennifermaggio.com.

Unstuck Ministries is a national faith-based nonprofit that exists to see bound women become free – free to parent well, free to manage their money effectively, and free in their spiritual and mental health. With over 1,000,000 women served, we offer a variety of programs and services that bring hope in Christ as the foundation to women everywhere, focusing in 3 key areas: Parenting, Finances, and Mental & Spiritual Wellness. While Unstuck Ministries exists to see women in all walks of life become free, the ministry is also the nation’s largest provider of Christian single mom curriculum. This includes launching thousands of single moms’ support groups in churches, offering life skills through Single Mom University®, and providing ministry leadership training & support. But we don’t stop there! We also host awe-inspiring women’s events and provide a variety of other support services to ensure all women remain unstuck, including videos, podcasts, articles, in-person events, webinars, books, and so much more.