Twenty years ago, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries was a dream inside the heart of a young single mom who was living in government housing, utilizing food stamps and welfare, and feeling completely unlovable and unseen. That single mom was me, and the task of raising two children alone was seemingly impossible. The days were long, and my exhaustion often led to my collapse in the bed long past midnight, wondering what I had even accomplished that day. The financial burdens were almost unbearable. The parenting choices were weighted with the certainty that, at any moment, I may ruin my child’s life! The years that followed ebbed with many twists and turns, but ended with my deep desire to see that no single mom would walk alone. The journey that I embarked upon in those years was not a unique one. Sadly, it’s one that millions across the U.S. face today, and many are often at the brink of drowning. The thing that radically changed my life, that gave me the strength to push through, was a relationship with the local church (and ultimately with Christ).

A single mom’s relationship with her local church cannot be understated. She needs meaningful friendships with those who truly see her and care. She needs wisdom when there may not be an active co-parent to assist with parental decision-making. She may need support with practical needs, such as home or car repairs or regular maintenance. She needs a mentor for her son or daughter when their father may not live near or be involved. She needs to be seen, heard, loved, and valued - not pitied. She needs wise counsel, honest feedback, and encouragement. That’s why I’m so grateful to the hundreds and hundreds of churches who have taken the time to start a single moms’ ministry, host a single moms’ event, and/or conduct a single moms’ outreach in the community.

You may be reading this, wondering if your church even needs a single moms’ ministry plan. Doesn’t it just promote exclusivity? Doesn’t it make single moms feel more outcast instead of included? Doesn’t it endorse divorce or unwed pregnancy? Doesn’t my singles’ ministry already encompass single moms? Does my church even have single moms? These are all questions fielded by our ministry on a daily basis.

#1 | There are single moms in your community, even when they aren't attending your church.

There are an estimated 22 million single-parent families in the United States today. While divorce rates are arguably lower than in years’ past, that fact is only true to much higher rates of cohabitation than ever before. The result? More children are being raised in single mothers’ homes than in the history of our country. If they aren’t in your church, a single moms’ ministry plan will help get them there!

#2 | The children of single moms’ are the next generation.

We have doctors and lawyers, pastors and governors, business owners and deacons, and so many more being raised in single-mother homes. Many of these children lack an active male role model, making the relationship with a local church even more important. An effective single moms’ ministry plan will also encompass children’s ministry and mentoring, both of which will provide lasting and perhaps life-changing impact for that of a young child.

#3 | Single mothers offer great value.

There is this misnomer that somehow all single mothers are meek, weary, unaccomplished, and only want a handout. This could not be further from the truth. Our ministry has served over 1 million single mothers and counting. Our observations are that most single mothers are hard-working individuals doing their very best to raise up their children in the way they should go. They are active in their communities and churches in a variety of ways. They do not want to be pitied or felt sorry for. They have skills and talents that they can bring to their church community. Single moms’ ministry can be a great place to utilize those talents. They bring a unique life experience that may offer insight into future ministry ideas for your church, too.

#4 | The statistics don't lie.

One can acknowledge that single mothers are gifted, talented, multi-faceted, and strong, while simultaneously acknowledging that single-parent families face additional challenges, including higher instances of poverty, abuse, incarceration, depression, and run-aways, just to name a few. No, all single mothers’ children are not destined to that future, nor are single mothers. However, the local church can certainly be a conduit for introduction to the God who is in the statistic-shattering business! The hope offered through a deep and intimate relationship with Christ is the X-factor that many single mothers are desperate to find. Offering a single moms’ group that focuses on parenting, finances, and emotional/spiritual health can be the very thing needed to enhance her overall life experience.

#5 | Singles’ ministries are valuable, but not the only answer.

We believe that both single moms’ ministries and singles’ groups can coexist well in a church, and there is a need for both for several reasons. First, singles’ ministries are often co-ed and can sometimes create additional pressure for a grieving single mom fresh off the loss of a spouse through death or divorce. Next, singles’ ministries don’t always offer childcare, as many attendees may not have children or have older children. Additionally, singles’ ministries have often evolved into an older crowd of 40’s and above, leaving the twenties and thirties single mothers feeling like they may not fit in with the group.

#6 | Hurt has often left single moms isolated and alone. 

The trauma of divorce, death, or loss of a relationship is one that can seem insurmountable. Add children into the equation, and the weight can seem even heavier. Most single moms did not secretly dream of one day becoming a single mom when they are older. It isn’t usually in the life plan or fairy tale for that little girl’s “dream come true.” They, like most, dreamed of a white picket fence and a happily-ever-after story. For whatever reason, however, it didn’t end that way. Psalm 68:6 tells us that “God places the lonely in families.” He wants to use your church family to meet that need.

#7 | Single moms lack support.

Some single mom family dynamics can include the complexities often left by divorce or strained relationships with parents. Further, there may not be an active co-parenting relationship with the father for a variety of reasons. The disappointment of a failed relationship could also leave a single mother leery and hesitant about new friendships, making her more guarded than before. Those realities can make her support system thin. Single moms’ ministries offer an easy way to allow single mothers to forge strong, healthy friendships with one another and other church members.

#8 | Your church’s Bible studies may present barriers for single moms.

A mid-day moms’ group isn’t viable for a single mom working two jobs. Likewise, a Bible study with no childcare options can often hinder a single mother from attending, if she isn’t able to afford her own childcare. Additional challenges may include Bible studies that focus too heavily on marital relationships or co-ed groups that turn into dating venues.